Sunday, November 11, 2007

Taking temperatures…

So we were having this conversation at dinner tonight. Sorry, I don’t know WHY these things come up at dinner. They just do. It started with my wife mentioning this kid at school in my class who’s temperature I had taken the other day. Used to be, if I thought a kid had a fever, I’d send them to the nurse and they would take the temperature and usually send him or her back. I mean, the kid could CLEARLY be sick, but no fever, then back to class. Send a kid up who had thrown up, they send them back, “They feel better now.” Well of course they do, EVERYBODY feels better after throwing up…………. OH, and the classic response on ANY complaint I send a kid up there for is, “I had them POOP, they feel better now.” Usually just shortened to “POOPED” Now I just send them up with a note saying, “Johnny* doesn’t feel good, please have him POOP and send him back….” A couple of weeks ago I called the nurse’s office on the phone and said, “Sally* is coming up there with a bloody nose, please have her poop and send her back……”

Anyway I took the kid’s temperature and it was 95 degrees. So I didn’t send him up. I have this nice digital thermometer that I bought just for school.Which got us onto the subjects of thermometers. My daughter in law opined that the most accurate reading came from a rectal reading. I mentioned that as a child I was “too old” for the rectal reading, but always bothered when my mom stuck that thing in my MOUTH, I just couldn’t help thinking about where it might have previously been. My mom would say, “Oh quit complaining, I CLEANED it with alcohol….” Like THAT helped. This from the same woman who SPIT on her hanky to clean my face…. my wife said that was why she had TWO thermometers and they were in two different colored cases. So I told my son, “Then that means if I took your temperature you had a 50/50 chance.


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