I feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty……….

I had 29 students, now I have 28.  And I’m not sad.  One of my lowest of the low boys moved out of zone and had to transfer schools.  Apparently my principal has a NO ZONE VARIANCE policy.  Mom wanted to keep him in my class, but they moved clear across town, and for four days she either hasn’t been able to get him or his sister here, or has been late picking them up…….every day.  That wasn’t going to fly IF the principal had given them a variance.  Mom wanted to keep him here because we are a Title One school and as such, have full day kindergarten.  Their new school apparently isn’t Title, so kinder is only half day.   The boy NEEDS full day kindergarten, and more,  much, much, more,  but I don’t need the disturbance he created in my class.

I was reaching the end of my rope with him.  He couldn’t keep boundaries,  by that I mean, I gave up trying to get him to stay in his chair or in one spot a long time ago.  I would have been happy if he had stayed in a zone or area.  He wouldn’t or couldn’t stay on task and pretty much did what he wanted in the room.  I would tolerate it as long as it wasn’t a violation of another student’s space or materials.  But it often was.  He wasn’t malicious, he was often even trying to be helpful.  You know, by taking all of my carefully stacked piles of papers and putting them into ONE stack.  Sort of shuffled as he did it……..The only other name heard in my room as much as my name, was his, ALL the other children knew his name.  And you would hear it all day.  If it wasn’t me, it was one of the other kids, even the ones in the other kindergarten classes. 

The sad thing is, I really liked him, he just drove me crazy and although he was making some academic progress, he wasn’t keeping up with the class.  Having 29 kids in the class made it really hard to give him the individualized help he needed.


5 thoughts on “I feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty……….

  1. I completely understand this. The little darling in my class, who sounds like this one’s long lost cousin, was out today, and it was so great to have the break! I know that sounds terrible, but he’s just draining, both physically and mentally. But, like you, I really love this little guy, and sometimes find myself imagining what it would be like if I took him home (and away from his crazy mother!!) and raised him as my own.

    I lost one, then immediately gained one yesterday. I love when stuff like that happens one a day when I’m not even there!! And, the “new” one has never been in school before (um…HELLO!!! It’s the freakin’ middle of November. WTF were you thinking, Mom?!) and has NO idea what rules and routines are all about. Greeeaaaatttt….just the way I wanted to spend the last 12 days before break…. 😡

    • I don’t know, the Districts aught to hold parents responsible. If YOU can’t enroll them on time, see you next year…….. This late in November is just TOO LATE. My kids have been in school almost 60 days, that’s a third of the year. We are supposed to retain if they miss more than 20 days. We usually don’t if they are close and the kid is academically OK, but there should be a cut off. One of the other kindergarten teachers at my school just got one like that a week or so ago. Where have they been?

  2. I agree with the idea of disallowing late enrollees. There ought to be a cut off.

    I’ve got 29 in my classroom, too. In my case, the 29th kid turned out to be a six year old girl who’s really “with it” so she’s adding to, not detracting from, the learning going on in the room. Sometimes you get groups of kids who want to learn, learn, learn. They gobble up everything you put out and ask for more. It’s sure great when you’ve got a class like that. That’s how it’s been for me this year…knock on wood.

    • I think I’m beginning to see the light, or they are…. Recent assessments show significant progress for most of the class. And we’re finally starting to make some progress with writing. It just hasn’t worked up until now.

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